The right time in which you decide to sexually and emotionally transition between your ex and your next can be difficult to distinguish. I mean, let's be real here folks; after you dead the situation with your former lady/man you're more than liable to still be hittin' them off on the regular regardless, right? Especially if the sex was is good mind blowing great. Other than your relationship meeting it's demise due to conflicts of interest you could very well have no issues being intimate with each other so what's the harm in getting satisfied while you remain single?
The question is... when is it acceptable to still be having sex with your ex while actively dating? Of course dating is subjective depending on who you're talking to but for the sake of argument let's assume you haven't engaged in sexual relations with anyone you're casually seeing or talking to.
Here's The Scenario...
- You've been broken up with your ex for a few months and you've been dating other people.
- You have yet to make a commitment but you've established a mutual interest with someone in particular.
- You haven't had sex with this person as of yet but you wouldn't mind exploring or entertaining the possibility of doing so at a later date.
- You feel that if you give up the goods too early your new prospect will classify you as a jumpoff when in reality you would rather establish a relationship and avoid judgement (yes, this logic is flawed but this is real talk).
- You're not adament to add to your bodycount so the only way you'd be willing to take the L is to be involved with this person in more than just a sexual aspect. (Female logic: I'm not a ho because technically we were dating at the time.)
In this situation is it wrong to hold out on giving up the pussy/dick to your new prospect while still fucking your ex?
For the fellas: If a female is not giving up the box and you continue to slide off with other... ahem... lady friends, is it as bad as a female who chooses to do the same thing?
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ReplyDeleteHonestly, i think chicks do this shit more often than guys know. To me, it complicates things. We males will rarely turn down some sex with our ex provided no feelings are caught...but it will go another route when you least expect it.
I personally have been through this and it's aggravating if you dont have other options on your team. That makes me look @ the chick like "What the hell am I waiting for? If he could hit it with no strings attached (despite their history), why the hell can't I?"
skewed maybe but it is what it is.
^^^I too have been down this road
ReplyDeleteThe new guy is putting in all the work
(spending time dinner,movies etc)yet the ex is getting the box...unacceptable
^ LOL. That's exactly what's so grimey about the situation. You're investing time and money into a female whos just getting dug out by her ex while you're holding her hand and warming up the oven. Exes stay in the past as far as I'm concerned... ugh.
ReplyDeleteThis is why I dont spend too much $ on the first date or any date after till I get a "feel" . I dont know her and she doesnt know me. I think that if I'm inviting her to enjoy my wonderful presence on a date, it should be on me...but she should also get the impression that if she doesnt come, the world will keep turning. Sometimes you gotta create your own hype and believe it.
ReplyDeleteI also dont display too much emotions about anything. I'm hilarious but other than that, I've been told I'm sarcastic and nonchalant and dismissive. Womp womp
As far as other niggas are concerned, a chick will ALWAYS have some dude in her ear. All you can do is just play the game and be true to it. Chicks will introduce a nigga to you and you wont know that he was blowing her back out and shit.
I put nothing past any of these chicks so it is what it is. You can only control your reaction to life.
Not to mention, every dude is second place to some next cat whether it be physically or emotionally. The average male ego cant accept that.
ReplyDeleteso ive been in this situation....but the new intrest actually ended up giving me the box...but the ex would give it up too ...so i was hitting both while only really intrested in the new one...just it was that beg. wack sex while the ex was still putting it on me hence why i couldnt give it up
ReplyDeleteI usually have sex with a woman within two weeks after speaking to her anyway. When you speak to a mature, confident woman and she is comfortable with herself and her situation, she does not worry about adding to her "body count". If the sex isn't up to par, the man will usually still call on the ex and not take the current relationship as serious. Now if it doesn't satisfy the woman, she will see what else she can keep the man around for (money, convenience, boredom, etc). If none of that is there she will dead the situation, keep it moving, and act like it never happened.
ReplyDelete^That's another subject I wanted to touch on. If the sex was wack it didn't count. Ha!
ReplyDeleteThat's right gotta have flava to the playa!
ReplyDeleteWell in my opinion if you're just dating and there is no real serious commitment then you have to do you until such time. However, if feelings begin to surface between you and the prospect be it mutual or one sided then the discussion needs to take place as to realistic expectations. There is no need to keep riding the waves of pleasure with your ex if you and your prospect have feelings and are acting like a couple. If you're dating on the regular, cuddling @ home like a couple, spending intimate moments such cooking dinners together and having deep stimulating and intelligent conversation why not go ahead and experience multiple moments of ecstasy together. There is an established connection there so there is no reason to take it further. It does not put you in "Jumpoff" category because you're spending time together outside of the bedroom. "Jumpoffs" don't get dinner, quality time, and all the other considerations a potential "Priority" receives. So if you're each others potential "Priority" then saddle up and give him the business like only you can. If you're each others "Option" then keep investing in the roller coaster that is your past.
ReplyDeletehttp://nymag.com/guides/cheap-living/recycle-romance/
ReplyDeletedo you give good head? i heard you have a crush on goldenarmz97 is that true?
ReplyDelete^ Damn. You got me. Who told you?
ReplyDeletewhen you gonna give us a new entry?
ReplyDeletei feel as if until sumthing sexual happens theres no commitment because no bond has been created yet... so even th egirl is still fuckin her ex or im still fuckin my ex... its fine until me the the girl have a sexual relationship.... now telling that person is another story cuz people take things the wrong way MEANWHILE THEY WERE DOING THE SAME THING BUT TOOK IT TO THE HEART THAT IT WAS DONE TO THEM SMH... PEOPLES LOGICS R FUCKED UP
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